Seminole County Family Law Blog

In the not too-distant past, social norms dictated that when it came to family and work, there was a very distinct pattern to which married couples should adhere. Indeed, the role of primary breadwinner was to be filled by the husband, while the role of primary caregiver was to be filled by the wife.

Fast forward to the present day and these social norms have mercifully been largely abandoned by modern society. Indeed, where there are still many families in which the husband serves as the primary breadwinner, there are also many families in which both parents serve as the primary breadwinners and many families in which the wife serves as the primary breadwinner.

They say that anger is almost always a secondary emotion--dig deep and you will find that anger is really fueled by fear, betrayal or sadness. When a couple goes from loving each other to calling it quits, it is usually due to a series of disappointments, failed expectations and recriminations. No one walks down the aisle believing their marriage is temporary. So when you reach the point where you choose to no longer to be a couple, it is usually accompanied by a great deal of hurt.

Feeling down about your divorce is normal. And most couples work together--one way or another--to settle their differences, move on and start a new life. But there are times when one party is so full of acrimony that all reason is lost. Bank accounts may be emptied, property may be destroyed and accusations of domestic violence may swirl.

The most important decisions you will make during your divorce are the ones that affect your children. When you and the other parent let marital struggles cloud your judgment, your kids become equally impacted by the emotional tumult and the court's proceedings. By considering your children's needs throughout the separation, you have the ability to make the whole ordeal far less difficult. One of the ways to achieve this is to use a parenting plan.

To put together a successful parenting plan, you and the other parent need to work together to decide what's best for your children. Your kids aren't just assets that can be equally divided, and a thoughtful and practical parenting plan is the best way to acknowledge that. It's impossible to keep the disruption of your separation from affecting your children, but a purposeful agreement that contains the following components can minimize the hardship of their experience.

It perhaps goes without saying that the longer a couple has been married, the more complicated their divorce is likely to be. That's because they may have children, they may have arranged for one spouse to exit the workforce to help raise their children, and, of course, they may have accumulated more assets.

Indeed, chances are good that these spouses have built a not insubstantial retirement nest egg consisting of funds held in everything from 401(k)s and profit sharing plans to IRAs and pension plans. It's important to understand, however, that any division of these retirement assets, whether achieved via a prolonged courtroom battle or an amicable settlement, must be accompanied by what is known as a qualified domestic relation order -- or QDRO.